Time

China is slipping away from me. It doesn't seem too long ago that it seemed like yesterday that we were boarding that plane not only to go to China..but then to come home from China. But for some reason lately...it's seeming like that whole entire, amazing, life changing experience was a million years ago. I don't know if it's because Jillian is totally a part of our family...so it's hard to imagine not having her...or if it's because we are so busy that I just don't have time to dwell on it any longer....or just what. And I'm not sure I even realized it truthfully. Tonight, I'm painting. I've got several paintings due...for teacher gifts....but I took a break to check my email. I haven't been reading my adoption related emails lately...because frankly...I'm just too busy right now. Not only with work stuff...today I was totally consumed with room mom stuff...which I did love by the way. Tonight was different though...for some reason tonight, I read through several. Maybe I was trying to procrastinate a touch...but whatever the reason...I realized how far, far away it seemed. The overwheming sense of sadness has totally come over me. I don't want it to slip through my fingers. I don't want forget how amazing it was. I don't want to forget what all the Lord has done in my life. Roy and I have not one time gotten out the videos from China and watched them...so I think that is definitely in order. I know...and I really do know...that in time, I will forget this and that about the trip. I'll forget the smells of China. I may forget about that Chinese opera....I may forget how much Jillian like congee...I know I'll eventually forget some...but I'm not ready to forget anything yet. So....movie night..here we come....because, I guess movies will just have to be what we settle for until we are able to go back.