Hitting the Wall, and Crawling over it.

Life with Jillian is great. Really. I have to admit though, lately, I have felt fairly trapped. Jillian has had NO adoption related issues. She has had no attachment problems at all. I even left her in the nursery at church on Sunday. She did good. Not perfect, but neither did my other children for the most part. With that being said, I have felt conflicted with how to handle normal, daily issues that arise with a 19 month old child. She has a runny nose, doesn't feel good, and was fairly grumpy yesterday. Nothing seems to make her feel better, except for someone to hold her. Which just isn't possible to do all day. So, I had to just let her cry several times yesterday. I had to put her in her bed during nap time, when she didn't want to nap, and just let her fuss for awhile. It wasn't steady, it was off and on, but still enough to just kind of drive you crazy!! So when the other kids get home from school, and have homework, activites, etc., life can just get nutso!! And then the store calls and needs this and that, and it's tax time, inventory time, etc. I've just been tired. Pooped. Worn out. Overwhelmed. However you'd like to phrase it, that's what I've been. So, I made a decision to have a night out. I'm not one of those "girls night out" kind of people. I'm not a member of a bunco group, or any of those other things. I'm not opposed to them by any means, but my family just doesn't have enough time together to begin with. But, I needed some time out. Away. Without having to think about anything. So, last night, my friend and I headed to eat, and then to Old Navy to hit the end of the season clearance sale. It was WONDERFUL!! I have realized how critical it is for me to have what I like to call "no brainer" time. There was NOTHING we 'had' to discuss last night. We laughed, griped, pondered life, etc. And then there was NOTHING I 'had' to buy last night either. The deals were so good though, that I even got some Christmas presents for next year!!! Talk about feeling productive!!! I think the key is though, I didn't HAVE to do it. I wasn't pressed for time, or trying to grab a quick present because I had forgotten about someone. I am thankful that I have such an amazing friend that I could do that with. She's like my sister really. And I'm thankful to have a husband that was willing to watch all 4 kids because he knew I had to have some time. I'm thankful to have a few extra dollars so when I do hit a great sale, I have money to spend. I'm still tired, but I am also so very thankful.

Update...

Jillian is still doing wonderful. She is clearly feeling very comfortable with us, and is a very typical 19 month old baby. We've decided eating out is just not worth it for awhile. Last time we went out she kept trying to get Collin's baked potato to throw on the ground. Again, typical 19 month old. I have found that along with her mischeviousness, I find comfort. She still appears to be right on target for a child her age. Other than her speech obviously. I am hoping soon she will begin speaking much better, but it is still a little early yet. The pics are from my store that she goes to with me every morning. The girls that work for me love her, and she loves them. And of course, we take LOTS of pics of her. Enjoy.

A few more pics...

Jillian wearing reindeer antlers. I can't believe we caught this picture

before she pulled them off!
This is how Jillian gives sugar.

Playing at my brother and sister in law's house in Texas.

Loving wearing a hat!!! So silly!!

Life is good.

Jillian and Madison when we arrived at the airport.
Jillian at the first of December in her cousins jackets. We still don't dress her in blue. LOL!

Bad news is I've lost my usb cord, so I have almost no pics to add. Especially all the Christmas pics. The good news is, everything is going amazingly well. Fairy Tale well actually. I ran into a friend at Wal Mart the other day and was describing how wonderful things have gone. And it really occured to me that for the VAST majority of this entire process since we left for China, has been almost too good to be true. We had not one flight delay. Not one piece of lost luggage. No attachment worries, no unexpected illnesses....nothing. And it hasn't changed. Other than jet lag, and Jillian only wanting me in China...I can't think of anything negative to say!! Praise the Lord!! Jillian is an absolutely hilarious, precious, beautiful child. She has been the light of our entire house for almost 2 months now. She says momma, dada..(but usually just calls him momma also), hot, baba, tickle tickle, and a few other various things. She does know every single thing you tell her though. Sometimes more than I realize. I talk to her constantly, and sometimes I tell her to do things not expecting anything in return, and then off she goes. Today, (now this is just for the momma's out there), she told me poopoo, patted her hiney, then went and got a diaper, wipes, and then promptly laid down on the floor. What an amazing girl we have!!!