Hitting the Wall, and Crawling over it.

Life with Jillian is great. Really. I have to admit though, lately, I have felt fairly trapped. Jillian has had NO adoption related issues. She has had no attachment problems at all. I even left her in the nursery at church on Sunday. She did good. Not perfect, but neither did my other children for the most part. With that being said, I have felt conflicted with how to handle normal, daily issues that arise with a 19 month old child. She has a runny nose, doesn't feel good, and was fairly grumpy yesterday. Nothing seems to make her feel better, except for someone to hold her. Which just isn't possible to do all day. So, I had to just let her cry several times yesterday. I had to put her in her bed during nap time, when she didn't want to nap, and just let her fuss for awhile. It wasn't steady, it was off and on, but still enough to just kind of drive you crazy!! So when the other kids get home from school, and have homework, activites, etc., life can just get nutso!! And then the store calls and needs this and that, and it's tax time, inventory time, etc. I've just been tired. Pooped. Worn out. Overwhelmed. However you'd like to phrase it, that's what I've been. So, I made a decision to have a night out. I'm not one of those "girls night out" kind of people. I'm not a member of a bunco group, or any of those other things. I'm not opposed to them by any means, but my family just doesn't have enough time together to begin with. But, I needed some time out. Away. Without having to think about anything. So, last night, my friend and I headed to eat, and then to Old Navy to hit the end of the season clearance sale. It was WONDERFUL!! I have realized how critical it is for me to have what I like to call "no brainer" time. There was NOTHING we 'had' to discuss last night. We laughed, griped, pondered life, etc. And then there was NOTHING I 'had' to buy last night either. The deals were so good though, that I even got some Christmas presents for next year!!! Talk about feeling productive!!! I think the key is though, I didn't HAVE to do it. I wasn't pressed for time, or trying to grab a quick present because I had forgotten about someone. I am thankful that I have such an amazing friend that I could do that with. She's like my sister really. And I'm thankful to have a husband that was willing to watch all 4 kids because he knew I had to have some time. I'm thankful to have a few extra dollars so when I do hit a great sale, I have money to spend. I'm still tired, but I am also so very thankful.