Well, we've had Jillian for 3 months now...actually 3 months, and two days. It is so difficult for me to imagine that from both angles really. In one sense, it feels like we have had her forever, but yet it almost feels like yesterday that we were actually in China. It's so hard for me to realize that this amazing journey that we prayed about for so long, worked on for so long, and anticipated for so long is over. It was exactly 2 years ago yesterday that I called our adoption agency to switch countries to China. Could that REALLY have been 2 years ago? It goes so fast. I think of how fast time has gone with my other children, and I know Jillian will be no different. I remember distinctly Chandler's first day of kindergarten....and now he's half way through his first year of middle school. Our friend's children are starting to drive. I just can't believe it!!
As I'm having my deep thoughts lately, several things have happened that have brought China back to my mind so clearly. I watched a friend of mine's little boy tonight....and he LOVED tv. We all got tickled at him because he would actually sit and watch a movie. Jillian would not ever. But then we realized that she LOVED tv in China. She was glued to it. She loved that silly Chinese opera. And she loved the Chinese version of our pbs. Boy have things changed!! I've thought about how incredibly hard our beds were in Beijing. How incredibly hot our rooms were in Nanning. But when I think back to that trip, anxiety and all, I just melt. It was such an amazing experience. One that I absolutely did not want to take. One that scared me more than anything has scared me in my entire life. But I did it. With the Lord's help, I did it. And I now have this precious 4th child, that I know with 100% certainty was meant to be ours. She is so much a part of our family now, it's hard for me to look at her even as Chinese. I know so many of you out there are probably reading this thinking, "huh??", but it's true. She's 20 months old now, so she can definitely be a handful. She can absolutely wear me out...but she's mine. Just as much as the other 3 can absolutely wear me out...and they are mine. I guess I really thought it would take such a period of adjustment for me to be able to say that. I'm so very thankful it didn't.
As I'm having my deep thoughts lately, several things have happened that have brought China back to my mind so clearly. I watched a friend of mine's little boy tonight....and he LOVED tv. We all got tickled at him because he would actually sit and watch a movie. Jillian would not ever. But then we realized that she LOVED tv in China. She was glued to it. She loved that silly Chinese opera. And she loved the Chinese version of our pbs. Boy have things changed!! I've thought about how incredibly hard our beds were in Beijing. How incredibly hot our rooms were in Nanning. But when I think back to that trip, anxiety and all, I just melt. It was such an amazing experience. One that I absolutely did not want to take. One that scared me more than anything has scared me in my entire life. But I did it. With the Lord's help, I did it. And I now have this precious 4th child, that I know with 100% certainty was meant to be ours. She is so much a part of our family now, it's hard for me to look at her even as Chinese. I know so many of you out there are probably reading this thinking, "huh??", but it's true. She's 20 months old now, so she can definitely be a handful. She can absolutely wear me out...but she's mine. Just as much as the other 3 can absolutely wear me out...and they are mine. I guess I really thought it would take such a period of adjustment for me to be able to say that. I'm so very thankful it didn't.
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