No Title for Today.

We’ve had serious computer problems as of late. Some months back we had a virus attack our computer, and now we are having internet problems. I'm not sure what's going on, we even had somebody come out yesterday to no avail. Hopefully, we'll have this problem fixed soon, and I can get back to my therapy...I mean blogging.

Today, I need to post something that isn't too pleasant for me to address. I don't really want to, but I just have to get it out there. So here goes....I think it’s been clear, whether on this blog, or to my friends that see me on a daily basis, that this has been a very stressful season in my life. It’s not just one area of my life that is being tested, but several. I don't want to go into all the boring, real life issues here, but it's just one of those times in my life that I know will pass, yet we have to make it through the hard times to get on the other side. We all have times like that, and the Lord will guide us through, and we can look back and share our testimony when it's done. However, I have had a couple of people lately inform me, and couple of others (thank God it's only been a couple) that have been informed…that they feel like the stress of Jillian is just too much for me. Someone even had said that Jillian might actually have been a ‘bad decision’. I cannot even put into words how devestated this has made me. I want to make this perfectly clear……Jillian is my daily reminder that the Lord has not left us. I hold her and pray, and remember what the Lord has done in my life, and hers. She is 2 now, which isn’t always a bed of roses….but she certainly is not more than I can handle. Literally, some days I look at her, and think the Lord put her in my life right now so I would be aware of His presence. How anyone could characterize her as a ‘bad decision’ is truly devastating to me.

I want to caution people to not make judgments, or statements that are not founded by fact. I learned during the entire Chase saga, that people are going to talk. And unfortunately what I found was that for some strange reason, people want to repeat, or think the worst case scenario. My children heard so many totally insane rumors at their school, not just from the children, but the teachers, about Chase. And now here I am. Some people know I’m stressed….and for some reason, they have to blame someone. So, clearly it must be Jillian. And for the life of me I can't figure out why. I always expected the comments about her being a different race…but these have hurt me to the core. The reality of my stress is....I own a retail store. I personally, with no help, am in charge of it. I do the hiring, the firing, the ordering, the inventory, the taxes, etc. I have 4 children, included a 12 year old and a 2 year old, and the 2 in between. My husband is in ministry, which brings its own stresses into the situation. Why would anyone decide my stress is my Jillian's fault? It's just simply not the case. Period.