Happy Birthday to my sweet Jillian.

Today, June 2nd is Jillian's birthday. She is officially 2 years old. I thought I would be so excited on this day. I had been thinking about what kind of party we were going to have, etc. for so long now. But truth be told...over the last couple of days...I have felt very odd with the anticipation of her day coming up. Not terrible...but certainly not excited. When yesterday evening came, I realized that it was already June 2nd in China. For some reason, the difference in days was trying to play tricks on me. When actually should we celebrate her birthday, etc? Clearly, the answer is on June 2nd...America time. But I just haven't been thinking too clearly about it I guess. I then began to think of her birth mother. Does she even know that today was her daughter's birthday? Has she had more children hoping for that baby boy? I thought about her so much, that I physically ached. Does she care...or is she in a constant depression wondering about her child that she abandoned on the side of a road? And then, very quickly, birthday parties with balloons and cake became very much of a non issue. We are going to put together a family party next weekend, and we will have cake, and presents, and balloons. But the celebratory nature of this first birthday with my precious child was lost for today. I hope it was just this year. Certainly as the years go on, she will be excited, and we will follow her lead. But the harsh reality of China adoption came back to me today. Way too many children there are being abandoned. Truthfully, I can't even tell you all how many people do not believe me when I tell them Jillian was found on the side of the road. I have to explain to them that she is absolutely not an exception. It's everywhere. And way too many of those abandoned babies are living their lives in orphanages. I am so thankful Jillian is not one of them. She has so much personality, I cannot even imagine her living in an orphanage. How many more Jillian's are out there, left in orphanages?? I thank God for Jillian's life. I thank Him that He has blessed us with such a miracle child. And I wish her a happy birthday...for many years to come.