To stress or not to stress.

I know what you are going to think after you read this..but don't judge me too harshly!! Just call me fish. As I've thought of the freedom that selling the store would bring....I remembered why I was looking for a job in the first place. We need the money. And I remembered being so stressed about everything! How would we pay for this and that. How would Chandler ever be able to get braces?? How would we ever be able to do home updates that need to be done...not that we just want to be done. And then I asked myself...am I just trying to run from stress?? I can either have the stress of working, or not working. I wasn't the mother I needed to be when I was stressed about money. So what is the answer?? It is not an option for my husband to get another job. He loves what he does. And I mean loves it. Frankly, he's happy enough for both of us. And likewise, I'm stressed enough for both of us. How awful is that?? He seems to have the mentality of "what's the big deal...we'll sell the house if we need to...". Unfortunately, I don't have that attitude. And boy do I wish I did at this point in time. So, that brings me all the way back around to what on earth am I supposed to do? Just pray for me and all these decisions. I either need the Lord to send a buyer that would offer what I need, or I need Him to bless my business. Until tomorrow at least, when I feel something different. LOL!



So am I questioning the Lord?? Absolutely not. Am I questioning myself hearing the Lord. Yes. Unfortunately that's what I do. When we got the call about Jillian, I questioned myself every step of the way. I was so afraid of making the wrong decision....the one the Lord didn't want me to make. I was convinced if it was my flesh that answered the call, something dreadful would happen. I know deep down, that's not really the way the Lord works. He knows my heart. My days of being a happy stay at home mom with no financial worries are gone, unless the Lord steps in. Is He capable....absolutely, but is that what He wants from me?? What does HE want from me???? AGH!!!