Be Calm, O My Soul!!

I am feeling slightly better today than I have in the past day or two. Tuesday I was a nervous wreck. My husband was in an incredibly important meeting at work, I was at work by myself, and I needed the Lord's guidance desperately. I was very upset about the extra 2 days, and then the longer flight. We are on the 17 hour flight from Detroit to Beijing. However, right before I left work yesterday I got my in country itinerary. When I saw: "Monday, Nov. 5 Afternoon - Meet Jillian YuLu Duffey!!" , I realized what this is all about. Not that I didn't know before, but I have a meeting Jillian date. While you are all sound asleep in your beds during the wee hours of Monday morning, I will be meeting my daughter. I will finally see what she actually looks like now. I will finally be able to see how many of my prayers have been answered, and which ones I need to kick into high gear. I will finally be holding the child that the Lord put in my heart so long ago. I WILL BE HOLDING HER!!! I know for all of you adoptive parents out there, you can imagine what is going through my mind. With my biological children, I was holding them from the day I found out about them. I could rub my pregnant belly, and feel them. I was connected with them instantly. With Jillian, I didn't feel connected instantly. The Lord has worked on my heart, while looking at that little picture, and she has become mine. I love her, and grieve for her. I grieve for the fact that everything she knows now, will totally be gone from her life in a few weeks. She knows nothing of what's coming. Please be praying for her. That the Lord gives her comfort. I have had months to become so attached to her....she doesn't have that option. She meets us, and leaves with us. Regardless of whether or not she likes us.