I hate being afraid!

I think fear is something I've dealt with my entire life. I even remember as a small child being afraid of the closet, etc. I look back now, and think how silly to be afraid of the closet. The closet can't kill you, say, like a plane crash can. I totally understand logically the statistics are SO far in my favor of a plane crash NOT happening, but I can't seem to get it out of my mind. When we got the referral of my precious Jillian, I almost said no to her, because I was afraid to fly that long. Of course, I then realized how utterly ridiculous that was, and had to say yes. And I'm so thankful I did. It's just these restless nights when I can't seem to turn my mind off that I have my 'freak out' moments as I like to call them. Tomorrow is Tuesday. Normally, my freak out day would be Monday, but since Monday is a holiday this week, no letters of acceptances were given. They will come on Tuesday, if they come at all. I have a feeling ours definitely 'could' come. That's not to say it will...Lord knows it's not a word from Him or anything, but it is very much in the realm of possibility. Because of that, I've gotten myself all worked up in a tizzie. Every day of this process, not only does Jillian become more real in my mind as my daughter, but the fact that I am going to have to step on all those various planes, and leave my other children for 2 weeks also becomes just as real. I KNOW this is what the Lord called me to do. I KNOW IT!!! So, why am I afraid? Do I not trust His perfect will?? I keep assuming the Lord is working on my heart to want Jillian SO desperately that the fear will go away, but it is still trying to creep it's pointed head back in every once in awhile. And when it does, it's a doozy. I've been reading alot of blogs lately, following their trips to China. And they all seem to do ok going, but the trip home, has been described as 'grueling' more than once. How can I avoid that???? My friend told me that her trip home was 'heavy turbulence, with a vommitting baby with diarrhea.' Oh My Goodness!!! Can I handle this???? Really, can I???? I know I can, but I am really worried. Please Lord, help me trust you, whole heartedly!!