No LOA this week.....

Another day of mixed emotions. For the first time today, I really expected to maybe get that phone calling letting us know we had received our Letter of Acceptance. I knew it wasn't really probable, but for the first time in this process, I guess I let my guard down, and my hopes up. During this crazy process, our dossier has been moved from room to room at the China Center from Adoption Affairs. One of the rooms is called the 'review room.' Supposedly, once you are out of the review room, you get processed faster. Rumors have it, that most of my original month is out of the review room, so that infamous call could really come anyday. Again, I absolutely, positively refuse to pray for God to speed things up, etc. I will only pray for His timing to be perfect. He knows what is best, and I don't trust myself enough to pray for something that big. This entire process has been His perfect plan, and my opinion of what I think needs to happen is totally irrelevant. I am praying though, that if His timing is later rather than sooner, to keep just keep Jillian's health improving. He can do it, and I'm not worried about it at all....really, I'm not. I'd love to not even recognize her when she is brought in the room to meet us. Although, I'd also love to get updated pictures as well!!

On the other side of my mixed emotion roller coaster, one of the members of our yahoo group that had been waiting 140 days, (that's 140 days from when they sent their LOI to now), finally got their LOA. I have been praying for this family, and for their child in China. He has an unrepaired cleft lip and palette, and is very, very weak and small. If you think about it, say a prayer for him when you read this. China's policies can be very frustrating at times, especially when a child is at the end of the red tape. I do wonder at times, many times, what is really happening behind the scenes. So many rooms to get through, so many i's to dot, and t's to cross. Oddly enough, China was not my heart when I started this adoption. It just wasn't. The Ukraine was. My heart was 100% full for the orphans of the Ukraine. But, once again, the Lord gently nudged His will into our own plans, and made them His own. And just as always happens, my heart has changed along with His. My heart breaks for the children in China now. Not that it doesn't break for the children in the Ukraine, or Russia, or Guatemala, or even the children lost in our own insane system here in the USA. But the reality of it is, China is where the Lord has picked out my daughter for me. And I'm ready to meet her.